Day 15 - 10/24/18
Updated: Jan 17, 2019
So I probably should have given a disclaimer when I started writing this blog. It's a little late now, but in light of new developments, I believe it's necessary...... Disclaimer: By nature, I am always drawn to the HARDEST ways to do everything! If there is an EASY way to do something..... I always go in the opposite direction..... :)
With that being said... Yes.... The narrative for the past 2 weeks has seemed easy.... A little too easy...... I had actually began to believe that it was going to continue on with no hiccups.... I was almost on the easy side..... Well.... Here's the challenge that has been thrown into the mix..... The MRI has revealed cancer cells in my sternum. This means that it's not isolated to the one breast. It wasn't seen in the other breast, which I still see as a positive, but it's definitely not isolated.
When my doctor's office stated they were waiting for the approval from the insurance company, I thought they were waiting for approval for the chemo treatments..... They were actually waiting for approval for a PET scan... I remember, now, my doctor saying something about the treatment strategy changing up a little last week, but I didn't completely grasp he was talking about.... I've spoken with him today, and he's broken it down to the basics for me..... and now I'm understanding more clearly.....So, with the cancer being detected in my sternum, he wants to see if it is in any of my major organs--brain, kidneys, liver, and bones. Finding this out will help determine if the treatment needs to change just a little or a whole lot....
I can easily admit that this news was somewhat of a sucker punch to my stomach. It took me by quite a surprise. I felt fear creep into my thoughts and attempt to overtake my faith. My automatic and natural reaction was to take this news and allow defeat to project my path. It probably would have been easier to do that..... But back to my earlier "disclaimer" statement..... I ALWAYS do things the hardest possible way. So, although my automatic reaction was fear, my faith kicked in and took me to the next level in God.
With my faith back in place.... I am once again at peace and resting in God's arms.... Trusting in Him and His will.....
My encouragement for others going through this..... You do have a choice.... You can choose to live in fear, or you can choose to live in faith..... Living in faith means that you completely submit your will to God, and trust and believe in Him to order your steps down HIS path. I admit that it's not easy to let the reigns go. But I can promise you this, if you do let them go, He will welcome you into His Perfect Will.
Faith says, "God is working His perfect will in my life, and I can wait, endure and suffer." Faith does not make anything easier, but it does make all things possible. Author-Unknown