Day 2 - 10/11/18
Updated: Jan 17, 2019
I met with my breast surgeon today. Wow. That was a LOT of information! During the exam, she found a cavity under my arm and completed a biopsy of the area. I'm not sure if this is an indication that the cancer has spread, but I'm anxious to get the results.
The surgeon discussed treatment possibilities with us. I'm not going to attempt to explain the "data" that she gave us, but based on what she has reviewed of the preliminary data, she suggests it will probably be best to do chemotherapy as the first part of my treatment, and follow-up with surgery--which will possibly, probably be a mastectomy. And based on my family history, there's a strong possibility that a double mastectomy will be the recommendation. Hmmmmm...... I think I'm ok with that. This will be something that my husband and I will have to talk about more in depth, but my initial reaction is "that's fine, whatever it takes to make my story a success story." I'm definitely not opposed to having my breast removed if it will help me to not go through this again.
Today was also the day that I broke the news to my older children--ages 30, 29 and 22. My husband and I agreed not to tell the 10 and 7 year old just yet. We want to make sure that we are prepared to explain it in a way that won't confuse or frighten them. Both of my older daughters seemed to be frightened by the idea of what was to come for me. My son seemed more surprised and shocked, but readily offered support for anything I needed. During each of the conversations, I assured them that I will be ok. I let them know that my faith in God is what will carry me through this. One of the things my sister said, as she was going through her journey, is that you need a strong support system to successfully make it through this. Two days into this now, and I can confidently say that my support system is solid.
I do want to take a moment, though, to encourage anyone who is having challenges with their support system: you can still do this.... It may seem like a scary road ahead of you, but if no one else has your back, please know and accept that God has you in the palm of His hands. Trust and believe you are not going through this alone. Don't try to rationalize why this is happening to you. He needs you to lean on Him to bring you through this. He will NEVER put more on you than what you can bear. Be encouraged that you are a survivor. We have to take this one day at a time, and we will count every single day as a victory. We are in this together! I love you and Jesus loves you.
"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." James 1: 2-6 KJV