"Healing through faith" is a state of being that you must strive for throughout your existence. The concept of it is to identify your wound, uncover it, provide the proper treatment, forgive, and move on.

 

Getting Started

The pain is there. At times, it feels as though nothing else matters. How do you move pass your pain to desire a more fulfilling life? The answer lies behind your faith. Do you have enough faith to believe that God has better things in store for you? Do you understand the magnitude of His love for you? If you have any inclining as to how much He loves you, you can embrace that love and push forward. Pushing forward is what helps to get you through the heartache. God's promise is to give you peace and joy. Your faith in God helps you get to the joy that He promises you.

 

Day 114 - 1/31/19

Routine follow-up with my breast surgeon today. She completed another ultrasound/sonogram to measure the lump in my breast. GREAT NEWS!!! She was unable to locate the cancer lump in my breast! Thank you, God!!! This means - the lump that contained the cancer in my breast is now gone! The chemotherapy treatments have dissolved the cancer! The plan is to continue with the lumpectomy, but it’s mainly to remove the “area” where the lump was previously. In order to do that, she’ll have to have placers put in the spot where it was, since the lump itself is gone. I’m still basking in the glow of the good news, but I’m completely wiped out… I’ll be resting for the remainder of the day, once I get al

Day 112 - 1/29/19

I woke this morning with achiness in my muscles. The achiness is not bad enough to take any acetaminophen yet. I’ll hold off as long as I can comfortably hold off. Yep, me still trying to avoid taking medications. I slept most of the day today—my nights and days are still kind of messed up, so I’m awake most of the night—which makes me sleep most of the day. I definitely won’t miss this side-effect once this is all over. My taste buds are still all over the place, so I don’t have much of an appetite. I know I have to force myself to eat something, so protein smoothy shakes is helping me to get some nutrients into my body. During my wake time, I am making sure to take my steroids and nausea m

Day 111 - 1/28/19

Chemo Treatment # 5!!! Only 1 more to go after this one! Another pre-chemo night without any sleep. I have been up since yesterday afternoon. :( There were a couple of times, last night, I thought sleep was coming on, and I braced for it and embraced it. After about 20 minutes, I realized I had been tricked by my own body. *_* .... Twice. Oh well…. I turned the television back on and continued to watch it for the duration of the night. At 6 am, it’s time to get up and start getting ready for the day ahead. Starting with breakfast, steroids and packing my bag, etc. Before leaving the house, I have to take pre-nausea medicine and put lidocaine on my mediport area so it’s not so tender when t

Day 107 - 1/24/19

Since I’m on the upswing of regaining strength, I wanted to stop in the office to say hello to part of my support system. By now, my blood count should be increased, and I can get around just a little. The weather is supposed to be good also, so this is the perfect day for me to go. When I walked onto our floor, everyone was standing and waiting for me. It felt so good to see all of the smiling faces that melt my heart on a regular basis. My department is TOTALLY awesome, and I love these people dearly! The visit didn’t last long, but it was just long enough to get to love on everyone. I am so proud and happy to have all of these people in my life. From the first day they found out about my

Day 99 - 1/16/19

I woke up this morning with pain in my bones from the shot. This is a different kind of pain than what I experience from the chemo. The chemo pain is centered in my muscles, whereas the pain from the shot is centered in my bones. Since I’m always trying to avoid taking medications, as much as I possibly can, I wait until I feel the pain before taking anything for it. I do this in hopes that I can avoid it altogether. Well, this is definitely NOT one of those moments that I can go without it. Luckily, though, the medication that I take for this pain is only acetaminophen. Since this isn’t anything “hard-core”, I don’t feel so bad about taking it. In combination with the pain, I also feel wave

Day 97 - 1/14/19

After the 1st chemo session, my oncology team determined that the week following chemo, my white blood count should be measured, and, if the counts are low, I will have to get a shot to boost the count back up. Our white blood cells play a major role in our immune system, so it's imperative that our bodies have enough white blood cells to fight off infection. If they are too low, a simple germ from a common cold can turn deadly. My appointment to have my counts checked is today. Blood drawn… Results received... Yep… I have to get the shot… For some reason, this shot is more painful than most shots I have gotten in my lifetime. It is given as either a booster or on the back of my upper arm. E

Cut the Cords

You are liberating yourself by releasing those that have bound you with pain. If you can visualize a spiritual cord, with you on one end and the person that caused you pain on the other end, view forgiveness as the scissors that cuts that tie. The cord is symbolic to the restitution that you feel you deserve, and by cutting it, you are releasing them from owing you anything. Also, by cutting it, you are releasing your ties to the pain they caused in your life. I've often heard that forgiveness is not about you releasing the other person, as it would seem. It's about you releasing yourself. It's about you liberating you. When we freely give our love, it is supposed to be given with "no string

Day 95 - 1/12/19

Since the chemo process began, I have had some easy days, some hard days, and some really hard days. Today is one of those really hard days. During the really hard days, it takes every ounce of energy that I have just to manage my fluids and medications. Because of this, not having to worry about eating is a blessing. My daughters and husband make sure I’m eating, and I have easy to prepare foods for me to eat. I am so thankful for everything that my husband and children are doing to make this easier on me. For the last couple of days, the waves have steadily increased. Leading up to today, they have become massive. I’m praying they will start to subside soon, but it is hard to gauge right n

Day 94 - 1/11/19

Today I’m spiraling downward to my lowest point. I haven’t hit rock-bottom yet, but the downward spiral has begun. I was almost fooled by the “calm” before the storm. During the calm, I didn’t feel the side-effects of the chemo. I calculated that they would be coming, but I still had hopes that I could bypass them. The side-effects start off very mild, and increase over a period of 1-2 days. By day 2 after chemo, when I doze off to sleep, I don't feel them, but upon waking, they would be there. I am feeling the full effect of the chemo now, and I still have another day to go before I hit rock-bottom. The waves… The pain… Everything centers in my stomach and reaches out to all other areas of

Day 92 - 1/9/19

Another middle of the night waking. After I take nausea meds and get more fluids inside of me, I begin to pray for friends and loved ones. As names and faces flash before me, I pray for them the things that God places on my heart to pray. At some point my prayers transitioned to cancer patients in general. I pray for the cancer patients that are feeling lost and confused. I pray that they find their way to hope and peace. I pray that they get comfort and encouragement from a support system to help them endure through this. I pray that faith kicks in for the person who has a time limit attached to their diagnosis, and they realize that the battle is not over until God says it’s over. I pray

Day 91 - 1/8/19

I woke up at 2 am, and I could not go back to sleep. I’m trying to use this time to pray, but I also want to post a few blogs, so I’m preoccupied with that idea also. I think I got so far behind because of the challenges I had with dealing with my emotions in the earlier part of December. I’m feeling a whole lot better about everything now, but I still have some catching up to do. I opt to pray because I’m not sure that I have the mental capacity to write the blogs right now—because I’m actually sleepy, just not sleep. At 9 am I am still awake, but sleep is starting to catch me. I’ve finished eating breakfast and taking meds, so I settle in for sleep. No pains or nausea at this time. Before

Day 90 - 1/7/19

Over the hump!!! Today is the 4th chemo treatment – only 2 more to go after this one! I am thankful that I was able to sleep a little last night. For the last 2 treatments I didn’t sleep at all the night before, so I was a little luckier with this one. I only got a couple of hours of sleep, but it helped because I don’t feel so jittery this morning. Breakfast and morning steroids start my chemo day routine. Then it’s nausea medication and lidocaine—to numb the port area for the infusion. This wraps up my morning routine before we head out of the door. Nothing extraordinary happened today. It was a pretty routine session: labs, met with PA, 4 hours infusion time… I'm guessing I've gotten used

Day 85 - 1/2/19

I decided many years ago that I would stop making a “New Year’s Resolution”. I decided this because I never kept them, and I usually felt guilty about not keeping them. Although I understand the purpose of setting them, it defeats the purpose if they are broken within the 1st month. So to avoid disappointing myself each year, I just stopped setting them. So today I am not declaring a New Year’s Resolution, but I have, however, come to what I am going to call, an Awakening. Prior to my breast cancer diagnosis, I was pretty much muddling through life, with no clear direction or path. I loved God and had faith in Him, but I was complacent in our relationship. After the diagnosis, my life and fo

 

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