Ahhhh… Christmas day has arrived. Yayyyyy!!! I’m always excited about Christmas because I get to somewhat spoil my children—as much as I can. When I was a single parent, it was a struggle to buy “extras” for them throughout the year, so I always went above and beyond during Christmas. This habit has not changed with my younger children. And now, more than ever, I am trying to give more love than material things. Material items will only last as long as interest in the item last, but love will last a lifetime. As I am cherishing the “small” moments in life now, I have an added sense of delight watching them open their gifts. I’ve taught them from young ages that Christmas is about giving, and

I’ve been blessed with not having to work throughout this treatment process. My employer has an amazing short-term disability benefit that has allowed me to take the time off needed to heal. And when this process began, I had strict instructions from our management staff to focus solely on getting better. And I am following those instructions to the best of my ability. Since I’ve been off from work though, I don’t have a “normal” schedule to follow. I’ve always struggled with being a “night owl” anyway, but being on a work schedule had helped me to maintain a normal sleeping pattern. That pattern has been completely abolished. I’m not sure if my sporadic sleeping pattern is because of the st

I woke this morning having sharper pains than yesterday. This is at my threshold, so I will take something for it today. In an attempt to gauge how my body is feeling throughout the entire process, I’m comparing the levels of pain through the different chemo cycles. The pain is sharper than what I experienced in the last chemo cycle (Treatment #2), but it is still not as bad as what I felt in the first chemo cycle. As promised, I’ve continued to search for the right description of the pain I feel from the chemo. I think an accurate description of what I’m feeling is that it resembles muscle aches. Deep, penetrating muscle aches. The base of the pain begins in my stomach and reverberates thro

Today I woke up with more fatigue. There was a little bit more pain also, but still not enough to make me want to take anything for it. I’m hesitant about taking any more medications than what’s absolutely needed because of how much medication I’m already putting in my system. I figure, if I’m just a little uncomfortable, I can do without it. I’ve never really been a fan of taking a lot of medications, so I prefer to take the bare minimum—especially now. That probably only makes sense to me, but I’ve convinced myself that it is logical. :) Since I’m on the down-curve of the effects of chemo, my sleep cycles have increased, but I’m feeling very restless when I wake up. The restlessness is so

2nd day after 3rd chemo treatment, and I am beginning to feel the effects of the chemo medications. I woke up a little later again today, and I can feel that the fatigue is settling in my body. I also had a small wave of pain shortly after I awakened. Thankfully, it went away after a short time period. At this point, I don’t believe I need to take anything for it. Next up is the morning medications for nausea, diarrhea, and my fluids. Not realizing it, I dozed off again before I ate any breakfast. When I woke again, it was around noontime, and I was feeling drained. Listening to my body, I knew I needed some type of nourishment. I wasn’t feeling up to eating anything too heavy, so I decided

I woke up in the middle of the night and had difficulty falling back asleep. Even though I’m not feeling any nausea, I took more nausea medication. Taking it like this has proven to work because I have not had any vomiting during any of my treatment sessions. The only thing to do in the middle of the night is pray, so I began to send prayers up for everyone that crosses my mind. Praying for my prayer warriors as God puts them on my heart individually. I may not know what they need, but God does. Praying for my family. Praying for others who are touched by cancer and don't understand the whys and the hows to make it through the emotional roller coaster that comes with the diagnosis. After an

Chemo Treatment # 3 Today brings me to the halfway mark of chemo treatments--# 3 out of 6!!!… I didn’t sleep at all last night. Come to think of it… I didn’t sleep the night before the 2nd treatment either… I can’t quite remember the 1st treatment, but I’m now curious about this pattern. Curious enough to research the side-effects of the steroids that I take the night before chemo. Dexamethasone. Sure enough—insomnia is listed as one of the side-effects. That explains it! As usual, labs 1st and then I meet with the Physician’s Assistant (PA). Knowing that if my blood counts are off, it could delay the chemo treatments, so I’m usually anxious about my lab work. I am relieved to hear that they

I haven’t had any major developments since last week. I’ve mainly been resting and rebuilding my strength. The only other thing that has occurred is that my hair continued to shed. The hair loss was very patchy, so my husband and I ended up cutting it all off. As I had previously suspected, this was not a major deal for me. The only adjustment that I needed for this was to get used to my head getting cold. I’ve never had an emotional attachment to my hair, so it didn’t bother me that it came out. I know once the chemo treatments are finished it will grow back. I must admit, though, that my biggest fear was realized with the hair loss—I have a rather lumpy head. That part of it sucks. I will

Today I have an appointment with my breast surgeon. The purpose of this visit is to review how the tumor has been responding to the chemo treatments. I’m not sure of what to expect, but I’ve tried to feel for the lump a couple of times, and it’s definitely not as defined as it was before the chemo treatments started. I don’t want to get my hopes up high, so I’m trying to not formulate my own opinion before the appointment. As my doctor pulled up the images on the screen, she excitedly informs us that the tumor is responding very well. It has decreased in size from 3.9 cm to 1.5 cm. This is GREAT news since I’ve only had 2 treatments! She also informed us that the surgery plan has changed fro

The last few days have been somewhat routine for me. My strength has been rebuilding as the days have progressed. This chemo session has been easier than the last session, and I am grateful for that. I understood that the first one was going to be the toughest, and that appears to be true. I believe it has something to do with the amount of medication I am given in the first session, as compared to the other sessions. As I awakened today, I took an assessment of where I am emotionally… And I was shocked to find out that I am distraught. I know I’ve been muddling through the last few days, but I didn’t see this coming. I thought I was just focusing on getting better, but, as it turns out, I a

At Day 5, of the 2nd chemo treatment, I find myself very similar to where I was yesterday—with a little improvement. Based on my experience with my 1st round of chemo, this means that I have reached the bottom, and I am beginning to climb back up again. It will be a slow climb, but at least, now, I’m in the upswing of it. I’m still really drained, but I’m not feeling the pains like I was yesterday. I am awake more today. Not enough energy to do anything productive, so, I’ll just rest today. “O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.” Psalms 107: 1 KJV Day 56: https://www.healingthroughfaith.com/blog/day-56-12-4-18 #mybreastcancerjourney2018 #breastcancer