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Day 17 - 10/26/18

On Thursday, my doctor was able to get approval for the PET scan. I was contacted with the news of the approval late Thursday afternoon. Luckily there was a cancellation, so I was able to get an appointment for it on today. I'm saying "luckily", but I truly believe this was a blessing for me. If that cancellation hadn't happened, the next available appointment would have been next Friday. With today also being my birthday, it seemed somewhat bittersweet to have this completed today. On the one hand, I'm reminded of the magnitude of my medical challenges, but on the other hand, overcoming this hurdle, as a birthday "present" is fulfilling.

In preparation of the PET scan, I could only eat meat and greens for dinner the night before. For breakfast today, I could have meat, eggs and cheese. I had to begin drinking only water, starting when I got the phone call about the appointment, and three hours prior to the appointment, I had to begin drinking 32 ounces of water. Yes, that is a lot of instructions, but I've actually summarized them for simplicity. And here we go again... Just because I can't have something, now I want it.... I don't even like sodas that much.... But.... Because I can ONLY drink water.... I want a soda.... or juice.... or tea.... And I had to eat my breakfast by 8:00 am. At 11:00 am, I was STARVING! .... Until I reminded myself that I usually don't even eat lunch until 1 pm. Ok, so I'm not starving..... But still..... It's just the idea that I have to deny myself. It matters not that I'm not normally bothered by this stuff.

I won't bore you with the rest of the details about the PET scan, but I will tell you that I liked it a WHOLE lot more than the MRI. I'm not sure if that means I might be slightly claustrophobic, but not being put into that small tube gave me a sense of comfort. And I didn't even have to take anything to "relax" me! Hopefully we will have the results the early part of next week. I'm still eager to get started with chemo, but I'm also anxious to know if the cancer has spread.

For birthday celebration...... Prior to the PET scan, my husband surprised me with a bouquet of 49 roses. One rose for every year of my life. He is such a sweetheart! They are absolutely beautiful! And we were supposed to top off the evening with dinner somewhere--as always, it was going to be a surprise. He usually plans an elaborate dinner for two on my birthday, but because we anticipated me having chemo this week, he hadn't made the plans that he normally does. I usually fuss at him for spending too much money anyway, so I'm not disappointed in it being just a regular, simple day. Since my diagnosis, I am constantly reflecting on what it means to "LIVE," and it seems like this birthday is bringing a heightened sense of reflection. I'm not so much looking and thinking about death, but I have become more appreciative of life and health, and what it means to enjoy the simple things.

As it turned out, instead, he surprised me with dinner with my children, grandchildren, and siblings. He picked up one of my favorite types of food--Mexican--and we had dinner and family fun. We had the same fun that we always have when we get together, but this time, I feel like I appreciated it more. Being surrounded by people you love means so much when you're going through something. Not that we have any "issues" within our small family, but if there were any issues, we would not let them come between us. Supporting each other has always been natural for us. We have never allowed disagreements, disappointments, and personality conflicts overshadow pulling together to support one another. in times of need. We can't choose those with which we share bloodlines, but we should always be mindful of supporting our loved ones when they need us.

So, all in all, I had a perfect birthday. My gift.... loving on family and having their encouragement..... I've never been a materialistic person, and I'm glad about that. If I have learned nothing else in this experience, it's that material things do not matter in the grand scheme of things. It matters so much more to have love and support while going through challenges in life.

"And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation." 2 Corinthians 5: 18 - 19

Day 18:


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