Day 22 - 10/31/18
My biopsy is scheduled for Monday, 11/5/18. I had hoped to have it done sooner so I could start chemo this week. My doctor has stated that we can begin chemo the day after the biopsy is completed, so I’m anxious to get the biopsy out of the way. We won’t have the results back before beginning, but the cells just need to be removed prior to beginning chemo.
So it looks like we’re counting down now. Six days to chemo. Since it’s been somewhat of a roller coaster ride with the preparations, I’m hoping no other monkey wrenches are thrown in the plans.
I’ve been contacted to begin psychological counseling. As I have studied psychology, I understand the benefits of this, so I have made an appointment for counselling. While I believe I am coping pretty well, I want to make sure I have additional help, if needed. The purpose of this is not to have someone else tell me how I should be feeling…. It’s to be able to voice my feelings and have someone to talk to that does not have an emotional commitment to me. While I believe I can talk to those who are supporting me, I want to make sure I’m not feeling obligated to say things to ease the minds of those who love me. So, I’m actually looking forward to this.
For the remainder of this week, I’m trying to tie up loose ends with my job. All of the levels of management, at my employer, have been super supportive. I have been instructed, by several levels of management, to not be concerned with anything work related and to focus on getting better. This further solidifies that I have an AMAZING support system. Every direction I turn, I’m blown away by the support. And I’m not taking any of this for granted. I love and appreciate all of the support I am getting.
I’m also trying to continue learning about the things that I can expect from the chemo treatments. I know that everyone’s body reacts differently, but I want to be as prepared as I possibly can. The most fascinating thing that I’ve learned is that chemo—in simplified terms—is actually poison. It is used to kill off the cancer cells, but as it is working, it is killing off both good and bad cells within the body. The hope is to kill off more bad cells than good cells. Hmmmmm…. So…. As much as I want to put faith and trust into science…. I can’t and shouldn’t... I must, still, keep my faith and trust in God. In the scientific aspect of it, there’s no guarantee that my body is going to react the way that the doctors hope it will react. While I believe that God has given doctors “knowledge”, I also understand that He has the final say in the situation. So, as I continue to learn and prepare for the physical impact on my body, I’m also meditating on the true source of healing—God’s word.
“The LORD will sustain him upon his sickbed; In his illness, You restore him to health.” Psalm 41:3 ESV