Day 3 - 10/12/18
I've often heard that a person's attitude plays a large role in how they cope with this disease. I feel like I am a positive and optimistic person. In having this mindset, I have already decided that having breast cancer is not my death sentence. I am not going to feel sorry for myself and/or wallow in self-pity. This is going to be a part of my journey, and not my destination.
I don't doubt that the road ahead of me will be difficult, but first and foremost, I have faith in God. Second, my support system is growing stronger every day. Third, I feel that my duty in this situation is to encourage others. My purpose in writing about my journey is to hopefully help someone who is terrified of the diagnosis find their way to peace. I want to help ease the anxiety and fear that comes when people hear that they have cancer. I'm hoping that someone facing this same experience can lean on my experience for support, if they have no one else.
So, back to Day 3...... I've reached out to a few more family members and friends. I feel that I have to reach out to those closest to me to assure them that I am ok. Well..... This is quite a task...... And it is somewhat draining...... The conversations have pretty much gone like this...... "I'm calling to let you know that I have been diagnosed with breast cancer..... "..... They react with sorrow and shock....... I reply, "I know it seems scary, but I'm ok....." I then reassure them that my faith in God will get me through this.
It hasn't gotten easier with each conversation, as I hoped it would. I have to take a break after each conversation because I've got to re-energize and re-group. I understand that, through this journey, I must identify when I need "me" moments and take advantage of them when I need to.
Today I have also gotten a few appointments set up. Oncologist next Monday; MRI next Tuesday; Port placement next Friday. In case I have unknowingly been in denial, I believe once the "Port" has been installed, I will have a HUGE reality check of what's going on. I'm trying to prepare myself for it--we'll see if that works. For now though, I am still emotionally intact.
I have taken a few moments to evaluate my life. I recognize that a lot of things that I thought was really important, in comparison, was really not that important. Yep, this is putting into perspective all of the time I've wasted worrying about dumb things that don't matter as much as I thought they did. Long term goals: Try harder to not worry about irrelevant things again.
"Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today." Matthew 6: 34 CEVDC