Day 9 - 10/18/18
So tomorrow's the day I get the chemo port. I'm still holding steady with my trust and faith in God. I want to make a point of saying that because I believe that through journeys like these, our faith can waiver. And that does not mean that we stop trusting in God. It is perfectly "human" to look at the challenge of the road ahead, and allow the emotions of the moment to overcome us. My encouragement to you, though, is to not stay in the emotions of the moment. Know that God still has your back, even during brief periods of unbelief. Whenever I find myself in this struggle, I pray the scripture, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9: 24b) I repeat this over and over until I feel my faith being stirred. And, it never fails--He always meets me where I am!
At chemo training today, the medical assistant just basically confirmed that I had the prescriptions for all of the medications I will be needing--nausea, steroids, etc. She asked if I had any other questions that I wanted to know before next week. The only remaining question that I could think of was about hair loss. I'm actually ready to do the big chop to get it over with. She stated that the "average" time for hair to start shedding, based on my medications, is 3 weeks. So, I've made the decision to go ahead and get my hair cut within the next week. This will eliminate me having to worry about any shock that may happen when it starts to shed.
On my way home from the appointment, I had the opportunity to speak with my spiritual father. Regardless of how long I've been away from my original spiritual family, it always feels GREAT to reconnect. This is the man of God who taught me how to have a relationship with God, and how to pray God's Word in my prayers. I will always be grateful for his teaching because it took those teachings to mold me into the believer that I am. During our conversation, he reminded me of a scripture that we memorized years ago that seemed so appropriate with my current situation. This is what I will be meditating on for the rest of this evening.
"And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him." 1 John 5: 14 - 15 KJV
* The CEVDC version: "We are certain God will hear our prayers when we ask for what pleases him. And if we know God listens when we pray, we are sure our prayers have already been answered."